On Wednesday 14th December 2011, my dog, Mickey, took ill. I woke up at 3am to find him laying down moaning. I didn’t think it was a problem, as dogs normally do this, I only noticed there was a problem when he stood up and staggered into the wall and then into the radiator. He continued to stagger, then began drooling everywhere and then when shouting “Stop!” at him, he didn’t hear me continued to try walk through the wall.

We took him to the vet, had to wait we turned up early, he continued to stagger, drool, ignore commands and struggle to sit down properly, he had to slide his back legs down first just to lay down. It was unbearable to watch, the pain he must’ve been in. The vet called us in, we struggled to get him up. We got him to stand and stagger into the room, the vet asked us the general questions “how long has he been like this?” “has he been vomiting?” ect, he came to a conclusion that it was kidney failure, he gave us 2 options do a blood test to see if it is kidney failure or the final option, euthanasia. I wanted to give Mickey a chance, I chose the blood test. We had to wait 20 minutes for the results. The vet said he had a heart beat of 200bpm. I sat outside, watching the dog, realising the moment I wanted to avoid is sadly coming. I continued to watch the dog struggle to see where he was going, to sit or to breathe. The vet arrived back with the results, dog had just peed on the floor and I cleaned it up with a tissue, the results came back fine. The vet had no idea what the cause could be, we tried to stop the dog bashing into things, he again gave us 2 options. He said he could try and get the dog on a drip, feed it and help it or, again, euthanasia. I had to chose again, I had thought this moment out while waiting for the results. Dog began moaning and whining again. I turned around, crying, I decided to let the dog get out of this pain he was suffering. I chose euthanasia. The vet asked if I wanted to stay with him, I said no I couldn’t watch my dog I enjoyed for the last 4 years go through that. He also asked if I wanted his body, no as I can’t bear that, if we wanted his ashes, I didn’t want that either, I want him to be with other dogs in their own cemetery. The vet took Mickey away, I said my goodbyes and I was given his lead and collar back. The dog was no longer in pain and I cried that my friend was gone. My room now feels empty without him. I don’t regret choosing euthanasia or not being with him, but I think and hope it was the right choose for the dog. I miss him dearly, every minute, every hour and every day.

I hug my dogs collar and lead and I can’t bear this pain I’m left with, but my dog is at peace. He was 11, we adopted him in 2008 from a shelter.

R.I.P Mickey.